PH - Patricia Haines, HHC - Harry H Corbett, WB Wilfred Brambell

PH:"Bring them inside for me would you. In here. Thank you very 
much, that's very kind of you"
HHC:"Not at all, a pleasure. Well, if there's nothing else I can do for 
you, I'll be shooting off"
PH: "No don't go, I must reward you for bring in those heavy parcels 
for me"
HHC:"That wasn't heavy, at least not for me. I'm used to humping 
great heavy things about all day long. In my line of business you have 
to you know"
PH:"Yes, you look very strong"
HHC:"Oh well, you know I keep myself in condition"
PH:"Yes I can see you do. Whisky all right for you"
HHC:"Yes, yes, that's all right. Thank you, cheers"
PH:"What line of business are you in Mister.."
HHC:"Steptoe"
PH:"No your first name"
HHC:"Harold"
PH:"Harold. I have an uncle in the government by that name."
HHC:"What? not..."
PH:"Oh no, just an old junior minister"
HHC:"Oh"
PH:"What exactly do you do, Harold. Why were you knocking at my 
door?"
HHC:"I'm a rag and bone man"
PH:"A rag and bone man, how interesting. I've never met a rag and 
bone man before"
HHC:"Oh there's lots of us about. That's my horse and cart outside. I 
was hoping you might have some rags or scrap or something. I left a 
sack here with a card"
PH:"Did you"
HHC:"Yes, you might remember it was printed Steptoe and Son, best 
prices paid for old junk. And saying I'd be calling round"
PH:"I'm sorry, I don't remember, I didn't see it"
HHC:"Oh well, I don't suppose you'd have anything in a place like 
this. Thanks for the drink, I'll be on my way"
PH:"Just a moment, I must have something that would interest you. 
Why don't help me look for it"
HHC:"Ah, well, it's ah, it's a bit late and I haven't got much time see 
it's getting dark and I don't have lights on the cart"
PH:"Why don't you come back when you have more time, A lot more 
time"
HHC:"Yes, well I could do that. I could always call back 'cos I expect 
I'll be around this way again sometime."
PH:"Tomorrow?"
HHC:"Yes, yes I could call back again tomorrow, if you think there's a 
chance of something"
PH:"I would say there's definitely a chance"
HHC:"Yes well, it wouldn't be much out of my way ' cos I do.., I could 
easily drop by 'cos I have to pass by this way"
PH:"Good, make it early"
HHC:"Early, right"
PH:"Nine o'clock"
HHC:"Nine O'clock!"
PH:"I'll be free all day"
HHC:"Nine O'clock"
PH:"I'll be waiting for you"

HHC:"Hello dad"
WB:"You have a hard day"
HHC:"Oh yes, a terrible hard day. All go, at it all the time I was"
WB:"I can imagine. Did you get anything. Junk I mean"
HHC:"No I didn't. I didn't get anything at all"
WB:"You looked I suppose"
HHC:"Of course I looked, I've been all over the place, very slack 
though"
WB:"So you didn't get anything at all."
HHC:"No"
WB:"Oh well I expect you'll be wanting your tea, you must be tired out 
after all that hard work."
HHC:"Oh, I am pretty knocked out. You know how it is. It's very tiring, 
especially when you don't get anything. Very worrying"
WB:"Yeah I know"
HHC:"I was speaking to some of th lads in the caf. They said they 
didn't get nothing neither. It's quiet all round it seems. They said 
they've never known it so quiet"
WB:"Oh, you've been down at the caf have you? See ginger in there"
HHC:"Ginger. Oh yes I think he was in there"
WB:"Oh, was Lenny in there?"
HHC:"Lenny? Oh Lenny, yes he come in there, oh Lenny"
WB:"How's his head, any better?"
HHC:"Any better? He said he was a bit better this morning"
WB:"Why, whats wrong with him then?"
HHC:"What do you mean?"
WB:"Well you said he was better and I asked what's wrong with him 
then"
HHC:"Well, he's ill ain't he?"
WB:"I dunno, is he?"
HHC:"Well you said is he any better. I mean if he's not ill, what do you 
wanna go and ask if he's any better for?"
WB:"I wanna see how much of a bleeding liar you were"
HHC:"What you talking about?"
WB:"You ain't been nowhere near that caf"
HHC:"Yes I have"
WB:"No you ain't and you ain't been on the cart all day either. i can 
tell youexactly where you've been since nine o'clock this morning till 
ten past four this afternoon."
HHC:"I've been out on the job"
WB:"I know you have. I followed you"
HHC:"Get away"
WB:"I saw you outside that house all day, that horse standing outside 
shivering"
HHC:"We were looking for junk in there"
WB:"Liar"
HHC:"There was a lot of stuff in there, we were sorting t out"
WB:"Seven hours you were in there"
HHC:"yes well I was pricing, you know how long it takes to price it. I 
mean they're having a sort out, they're clearing out. I'm going round 
tomorrow to collect it"
WB:"You aren't going nowhere near there. I'm no mug mate. I've not 
just fallen of the christmas tree. I know what's going on, putting on 
your best suit, shaving. Give yourself away, don't you. I know you. 
Birds that's what it is, birds. Birds is the only thing you ponce yourself 
up for "
HHC:"Alright, so I spent the day with a bird. It breaks the monotony a 
bit don't it. What's it got to do with you, I'm over twenty one, I can do 
what I like. You mind your own business. Look, lets have some tea"
WB:"You'll get no tea from me, you get tea if you work for it. Why 
did'nt you ask your fancy bit for some. You keep away from her. I'm 
gonna give you some advice"
HHC:"Advice? Oh this ought to be good. Never had that in life, but 
never the less, welcome. Well come on then, lets here it. Lord 
Chesterfield's letters to his son. Let's hear these pearls of wisdom"
WB:"Son, I'm older than you are"
HHC:"Oh my gawd. I wish you had told me that when I was a boy. 
What a difference it would have made to my life. My dad is older than 
me"
WB:"Listen to me, I've seen a lot more of life than you have and I'm 
telling you no good can come of this"
HHC:""Well it's done me a lot of good already. It's restored myself 
confidence for a start. It's very nice to know the birds still fancy ya 
when your pushing forty. Maybe when I'm as old as you are and 
passed it, I shall start moralising and tut tuting, but at the moment I've 
got no complaints"
WB:"I'm not moralising, I'm trying to explain something to you"
HHC:"There's nothing to explain Dad. I'm just all desirable that all"
